The Book of Bill by Tom Crisp Great Bill Quotations
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
from the book
I have always admired the ability to bite off more than one can chew, and then chew it.
- William C. deMille, filmmaker/dramatist
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
- W.C. (William Claude) Fields, actor/comedian
So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think.
- Billy Idol, musician / songwriter
Dancing With Myself
I love exercise. I could watch it all day.
- Bill Russell, basketball player
Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play.
- Willie Nelson, musician / songwriter
I never expected to see the day when girls get sunburned in the places they do now.
- Will Rogers, humorist
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.
- Bill Gates, software architect
No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.
- William Penn, American founder
The jury, passing on the prisoner's life,
May in the sworn twelve have a thief or two
Guiltier than him they try.
- William Shakespeare, dramatist
Measure for Measure
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
- Bill Watterson, cartoonist
Calvin and Hobbes
It's eider dis or dat wid me. Dere ain't no in-between.
- Bill Guthrie, baseball umpire
Three of my wives were very good housekeepers. After we got divorced, they kept the house.
- Willie Pep, boxer
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
- Billy Rose, showman
Nobody ever said, “Work ball!” They say, “Play ball!” To me, that means having fun.
- Willie Stargell, baseball player
The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.
- William H.Masters,
physician / sex researcher
If you play a tune and a person don't tap their feet, don't play the tune.
- William James "Count" Basie
musician / composer
You’ve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself – and how little I deserve it.
- W.S.Gilbert, lyricist / dramatist
There are two great days in a person's life -- the day we are born and the day we discover why.
- William Barclay, writer / clergyman
Some people are born slack – others have slacking thrust upon them.
- Will Self, writer
If you pray for rain, don't grumble about the mud.
- William Ward Ayer, clergyman
America is a land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy -- and won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
- Bill Vaughan, writer
The Book of Bill features the words of some 500 men who share one special quality ...
Wilhelm I, German emperor
Wilhelm II, German emperor
William I, prince of Orange
William I, king of The Netherlands

Will S. Adkin
William Maxwell Aitken
William Rounseville Alger
William Hervey Allen
William Allingham
William Pitt Amherst
Bill Anderson
Bill Anders
William Apess
Guillaume Apollinaire
William Saint Julien Arabin
William Arbuthnot-Lane
William Arnot
William Ward Ayer

Bill Balance
William Barclay
William E. Barrett
Billy Barty
William James "Count" Basie
William J. Baumol
William F. Baxter
William Baziotes
Billy Beane
William Beckford
Charles William “Will” Beebe
Bill Belichick
William Rose Benét
William Gurney Benham
Billy Bennett
William John Bennett
Bill Bernbach
William Henry Beveridge
William Edward Biederwolf
Bill Bixby
William Blake
William Peter Blatty
William E. Boeing
William J. H. Boetcker
William Bolcom
William Bolitho
William H. “Billy the Kid” Bonney
William Frederick Book
William Booth
William Edgar Borah
Bill Bowerman
William Boyd
William Bradford
Bill Bradley
Billy Bragg
William Henry Bragg
William Stanley Braithwaite
Willy Brandt
Billy Bray
“Big Bill” Broonzy
William James "Gates" Brown
Willie Brown
William Broyles, Jr.
William Jennings Bryan
William Lowe Bryan
William Cullen Bryant
Bill Bryson
William F. Buckley, Jr.
William M. Bulger
William S. Burroughs
Wilhelm Busch
William Francis Butler
Bill Byron

Will Carleton
William Herbert Carruth
Billy Casper
William R. Castle
Bill Caudill
William Caxton
William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)
William Ellery Channing (1817-1901)
Bill Chickering
Billy Claiborne
Bill Clinton
William Frederick "Buffalo Bill" Cody
William Sloane Coffin, Jr.
Billy Collins
William Commanda
William Congreve
Billy Conigliaro
Billy Connolly
William G. Connolly
William Corbett
Billy Corgan
William Johnson Cory
Bill Cosby
William Cowper
William Crashaw
Billy Crystal
William Cullen
Will Cuppy
Billy Ray Cyrus

Willem Dafoe
Bill Dance
William H. Danforth
Billy Daniels
William Davenant
William Henry Davies
Bill C. Davis
Willie Davis
William L. DeAndrea
William Patrick Deane
Willem de Kooning
Guillermo del Toro
William C. deMille
William Edwards Deming
William de Morgan
William C. DeVries
Bill Dickey
William Macneile Dixon
William Croswell Doane
William O. Douglas
William Drummond
Guillaume Dubois
W. E. B. Du Bois
Will Durant
Will Durst

Billy Eckstine
Will Eisner
William Young Elliott
Billie Sol Estes
Bill Evans
William Maxwell Evarts
William Norman Ewer

William Falconer
William Faulkner
William Hamilton Fawcett
William Feather
Will Ferrell
W. C. Fields
William Finn
Bill Fitch
William Forster
William Frawley
William Friedkin
Bill Frist
William Orville "Lefty" Frizzell
William Henry Frost
J. William Fulbright

William Gaddis
Bill Gadsby
William Lloyd Garrison
William H. Gass
Bill Gates
Willard Gaylin
Bill Geist
William Lloyd George
William Gerhardi
Billy Gibbons
William Gibson
W.S. Gilbert
illiam Gilpin
William Ewart Gladstone
William Glasser
William Godwin
William Golding
William Goldman
Crawford “Cherokee Bill” Goldsby
Bill Gottlieb
Billy Graham
Bill Guthrie

William Haines
William Harlan Hale
Bill Haley
William H. Hamby
W.C. Handy
William Henry Harrison
William S. Hart
William Harvey
William D. Haywood
William Hazlitt
William Randolph Hearst
William Least Heat-Moon
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
Bill Heinz
William Ernest Henley
William Herschel
William R. Hewlett
Bill Hicks
William Hogarth
William Holden
Bill Holm
Bill Houlder
William Dean Howells
William A. Hulbert
Wlliam Morris Hunt
William Crosbie Hunter
William Hurt
William Hutton
Bill Hybels
William G. Hyland

Billy Idol
William Ralph Inge
William Inge

William Wymark Jacobs
Willie Jackson

William James
William Jerome
Billy Joel
Bill Johnson
William Samuel Johnson
Bill T. Jones
“Canada Bill” Jones
William Jovanovich
William Q. Judge

K. William Kapp
Bill Keane
William Henry Keeler
William Kennedy
William F. Kerby
William Kidd
Bill Klem
William Knox
William S. “Big Bill” Knudsen
William Kristol

William Lane
William Langland
William Lashner
William Law

William Kunstler

William Edward Hartpole Lecky
Bill Lee
William Richard Lethaby
William J. Levitt
William Lilly
William N. Lipscomb, Jr.
William John Locke
Billy Loes
Bill Lyon

William H. Macy
Bill Maher
William Manchester
Guglielmo Marconi
Billy Martin
William McChesney Martin, Jr.
William Moulton Marston
William H. Masters
William Barclay “Bat” Masterson
William Mather
W. Somerset Maugham
Bill Mauldin
William Keepers Maxwell, Jr.
William James Mayo
Willie Mays, Jr.
William Gibbs McAdoo
Bill McCartney
Will McDonough
William McElcheran
William McFee
William Holmes McGuffey
William McIlvanney
William McKinley
William Pierson Merrill
W. S. Merwin
Billy Mills
Billy Mitchell
William Mitford
Wilson Mizner
Bill Monroe
William Vaughn Moody
Guillermo Mordillo
William Morris
William Morrow
Bill Moyers
Bill Muncey
William Bennett Munro
Bill Murray
William Murray
Bill Musselman

Bill Naughton
Liam Neeson
Willie Nelson
W. E. Norris
Edgar Wilson “Bill” Nye

William B. Ober
Bill O’Reilly
William Osler
William H. Ottley

Willie Pep
Bill Parcels
Willie Pastrano
William Paterson
Billy Paul
Bill Paxton
William Penn
Willie Pep
William "Refrigerator" Perry
Bill Peterson
William Lyon Phelps
Bill Pickett
William Pitt the Elder
William Pitt the Younger
C. William Pollard
William Sidney Porter (O. Henry)
William Powell
William Hickling Prescott
Bill Press
William Proxmire

William Redfield
William Rees-Mogg
William H. Rehnquist
Bill Richardson
Bill "Bojangles" Robinson
Bill Robinson
Bill Rodgers
Will Rogers
Billy Rose
William Rosenberg
William Rotsler
William D. Ruckelshaus
Bill Russell
Willy Russell
Bill Russo

William Safire
William Salter
Billy Sample
William Sansom
William Saroyan
William Scargill
Will Self
William Henry Seward
William Shakespeare
Bill Shankly
William V. Shannon
William Shatner
William Shawcross
William Shawn
William Shenstone
William Tecumseh Sherman
William Sherrod
Willie Shoemaker
William "Buck" Showalter
William Gilmore Simms
William E. Simon
W.J. Slim
Billy Ray Smith
Will Smith
Willie Smith
William Archibald Spooner
Billy Squier
William Stafford
Willie Stargell
William Thomas Stead
Wilhelm Stekel
Bill Stern
William Strunk
William Styron
William Graham Sumner
Billy Sunday
Willie Sutton

William Howard Taft
Billy Taylor
William Temple
Bill Terry
William Makepeace Thackeray
Bill Thomas
William Isaac Thomas
William Thomson
William Irwin Thompson
Billy Bob Thornton
Bill Tilden
William B. Travis
William Trevor
Billy Tubbs
William Marcy Tweed
Willie Tyler

William Van Allen
William Henry Vanderbilt
William Van Horne
Bill Vaughan
Wilhelm von Bode

William Ross Wallace
Bill Walsh
William Arthur Ward
William Warfield
William John Watkins
William Watson
Bill Watterson
Billy Welu
Ernst Wilhelm “Wim” Wenders
William Westmoreland
William Allen White
William Wilberforce
Billy Wilder
William T. Wiley
William Williams
William Carlos Williams
William Griffith Wilson
William Winter
Bill Withers
William Wordsworth
William E. Wrigley, Hr.
William Wycherley
William Wyler

William Butler Yeats

William Zinsser

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The Book of Bill: Choice Words Memorable Men - by Tom Crisp - Andrews McMeel Publishers
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